Surviving Sunday: Packers news, notes and links for the football deprived

EXCLUSIVE: CheeseheadTV has obtained a letter written by Ted Thompson that was sent to every Packers player and coach last week. The letter appears to have been written on a typewriter and was meant to inspire the team during the dog days of the offseason and keep them focused as minicamp and training camp approaches. Here is the letter:

Dear Player I Drafted/Coach I Hired:

The other day, one of the young interns here at 1265 Lombardi was looking at something called Twitter on some sort of electronic device. This aspiring intern showed me a picture of the turf being installed at the Vikings' new stadium. I thought to myself, "Dagnabbit. Is it football season yet? I'm ready to see my guys march out onto that new turf, dig a giant hole at the 50-yard line, and bury that Godforsaken Vikings horn once and for all."

I was so fired up, I turned off the film I was watching of this really amazing backup punter from the University of Cowtown in Montana and started typing this letter.

As you know, I didn't sign many free agents this offseason, per usual. Who needs free agents when you have Aaron freaking Rodgers, Mike Daniels, Clay Matthews, Jordy Nelson returning and, once again, Aaron FREAKING Rodgers. Seriously, you guys have more than enough talent to win the whole damn thing without signing some castoff from the Cleveland Browns or Oakland Raiders. Get it done.

What I did do to strengthen this team is draft a bunch of guys. I love drafting a bunch of guys. I especially love zigging during the draft when everyone wants me to zag. Did you guys like it when all the armchair general manager's online were telling me to draft Myles Jack and I went and drafted a defensive lineman named Kenny instead? I thought that was awesome. You're going to think it was awesome, too, when that kid named Kenny starts making a living in the other team's backfield and Jack's knee ends up on a rock pile somewhere in Florida.

On a different note, if you're thinking about ingesting a substance banned by the NFL, don't do it. We're already going to miss a number of guys to start the season because of various infractions regarding banned substances. Just drink milk and lift weights. That's all I needed to do back when I was known as "Ted the Toe" and could barely run because I was so jacked up. Yeah, you heard me. I was once jacked up. Me, the grey-haired fox, all jacked up. If you don't believe me, check out the press clippings from last week.

Now let's talk about a sore subject: Our performance in the playoffs since we last won a Super Bowl. You guys go out every season and win 10-13 games like it's nothing, then you get to the playoffs and morph into the Atlanta Braves of the 1990s. What gives?

I don't want another playoff meltdown to happen again this year. Or ever again. Enough with the silliness come playoff time. Don't piss away a Super Bowl chance like you did in Seattle. Don't forget to cover a Hall of Fame receiver in overtime like you did in Arizona. Don't make Colin Kaepernick look like prime Randall Cunningham and don't bumble away a playoff game against the Giants after a record-setting regular season.

We don't pay you guys to win division titles and call it a season (like the Vikings). This franchise has 13 world championships. Let's make sure the number of titles in our trophy case continues to exceed the number of playoff disappointments in our memory bank. 

I'm sorry, gentlemen. Now I'm all fired up and lecturing you. You get a little stir crazy after watching film of undrafted free agents in a dark room for a week straight.

I'll end by saying this: The Bears still suck. So do the Vikings. Are the Lions still a team? Go Pack Go. 

Packers news, notes and links

  • Mike Neal sat down for a long interview with the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel. On what other team would a departing, non-descript outside linebacker warrant a 4,000-word interview/story? Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the piece and it was well done. But it was overkill.  
  • While Mike Neal was busy talking about Mike Neal, Ha Ha Clinton-Dix declared that he no longer wants to talk about a certain topic: himself.
  • On Tuesday, ESPN mistakenly said on Facebook that the Packers won the NFC North in 2015. The Vikings responded by tweeting a photo of their division winner table cloth to ESPN. The Vikings and their fans sure do love those division title ribbons...or table cloths...or rags...whatever they are.
  • Raymond Rivard at Lombardi Ave. asks if RB John Crockett might be a hidden gem. Crockett looked good when he got a chance to play briefly last season, then he disappeared.
  • Reason No. 157,479 why Aaron Rodgers is the best: He took down an moronic "fan" who wrote a letter to the editor about Rodgers and his hard counts ruining football.
  • In case you didn't figure out, the letter that opened this post is fictional :)

Non-Packers links and other nonsense

  • Hats off to the Atlanta Falcons for actually listening to their fans and slashing food and beer prices at their stadium. I'll continue complaining about the overpriced $10 beers at Lambeau Field.....even as I waddle to the concession line to buy another overpriced $10 beer the next time I'm at the stadium.
  • A new poll from the Washington Post found that 9 out of 10 Native Americans are not offended by team nicknames like the "Redskins." Like gun control, people on both sides of the Native American team nickname issue annoy me.
  • Bravo, Wisconsin. Bravo!
  • Cancer update: Still grinding away. Pushing through the fatigue and "blah" feeling to do my best in helping Mrs. Czech with the newborn. Another round of treatment begins on Thursday.
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Comments (17)

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Cheesestradamus's picture

May 22, 2016 at 07:12 am

Fun fictitious read. You picked on Ted's tendencies well. Keep it coming, I noticed you have your treatment scheduled towards the end of OTA's. Coincidence? I think not? Remember to keep your chin up. It's harder to puke that way. (although, the ceiling may take a beating?) Cheers!

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Patrick Brennan's picture

May 22, 2016 at 07:34 am

Great TT letter! Kick it in the *ss, Adam. I know too well how much it sucks. We're all pulling you buddy.

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Handsback's picture

May 22, 2016 at 07:51 am

Adam, great column as usual and keep up the fight!

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Bearmeat's picture

May 22, 2016 at 08:43 am

I love it when you write those TT "exclusives." Bwahahaha!!

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Rossonero's picture

May 22, 2016 at 09:28 am

Keep fighting the good fight Adam. I love the letter from Ted, haha.

Saw the article on Crockett, thanks for posting the link to it. I am intrigued by him. I was surprised the Packers did not use a mid to late round pick on a RB. I was also surprised that they brought Starks back given his age and fumbling problems last season. Hopefully this new RB coach can get the most out of Crockett, Starks and Lacy.

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Since'61's picture

May 22, 2016 at 09:42 am

Adam - great to see that you're maintaining your sense of humor. Carry on the fight and best wishes for a complete recovery. Thanks, Since '61

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4thand1's picture

May 22, 2016 at 10:28 am

They say laughter is the best medicine. Watch film of the lolions and Bears and you'll have plenty to laugh about. Keep it up Adam and keep up the good fight, ty.

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LouBen's picture

May 22, 2016 at 11:13 am

Keep the faith Adam. I see that after treatment-never ending fatigue and blah feeling in my own home also. Wishing you the best.
Loved your letter to the players from TT. What a sense of humor..... :) Did Ted contribute any words? HA....didn't think so. Lou

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Packer Pete's picture

May 22, 2016 at 12:31 pm

Hilarious read. Keep up the good work...

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NickPerry's picture

May 22, 2016 at 10:26 pm

Who in the hell gave Packer Pete a "Thumbs Down" for his comment? Now really, What the hell is going on out there???

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PETER MAIZ's picture

May 22, 2016 at 01:34 pm

Thanks for bringing us the letter of "Ted the Toe and will pray for a complete recovery for you. Laughter is the best medicine, too!

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Packer_Pete's picture

May 22, 2016 at 02:44 pm

I hope that Montana amazing backup punter ends up in camp! LOL

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Amanofthenorth's picture

May 22, 2016 at 09:32 pm

Nothing need annoy you. Just healing thoughts and as little stress as possible. Let all else go.

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porupack's picture

May 23, 2016 at 12:08 am

Adam, great post with perfect taste, and makes us enjoy the eccentricity of our GM, step back and appreciate what we have (and baggage we don't have with other GMs). "knee on a rockpile...."
I'm saving that one...

Admire and am inspired by your humor in midst of your personal battle. Thanks. Really. Thanks. Thoughts and prayers out to you and family.

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adamczech's picture

May 23, 2016 at 08:15 am

Thanks for reading, everyone.

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John Galt III's picture

May 23, 2016 at 06:41 pm

You are annoyed by people on both sides wanting gun rights?

Hitler removed the ability of Germans to have guns. So that means you are annoyed by Hitler and the Jews?

For the rest of us here, my guess is we side with the Jews. For you?????

You are one strange human being, Adam.

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4thand1's picture

May 23, 2016 at 08:41 pm

You sound annoyed enough to shoot someone.

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